Greatest party of all time, look at the attendance, we had to turn people away, they said when we filled the camera’s field of view, that was enough. It was for your safety. Really it was for you. My loyalists, that’s why we kept 2 out of 3 seats empty. For you, for your safety, we didn’t want anyone crushed trying to leave in a hurry.
Here we are, the largest party of all for ME, and well for the candidates running for office during the mid-terms. Well, really for ME.
Speaking of me, because that’s why we are all here anyway, they say those other people, you know who I’m talking about, the ones that — choke — don’t like me, if you can believe anyone doesn’t like me, may actually stand a chance of winning in the upcoming elections. I know, I know. I have done all I can to protect us.
I have tried to stop the elections, I have tried to prevent mail-in voting — older people who vote against me can’t get out to the voting stations — I have tried to have voting stations removed from those blue counties, yes, right here in Great Old Red Star, oops, I mean Lone Star Texas.
But even the courts, even the Supreme Courts, Supreme my orange ass, has traitors, commie traitors, why they even don’t want me giving Jan 6th Rioters a Billion Dollars for their insurrection, no, wait, their patriotism. Yes, that’s right. Patriotism.
But I have a grand plan, one they didn’t see coming, they didn’t see coming because I’m so smart, I’m a genius, a genius among geniuses. You could check my school records of course, except they have been threatened with lawsuits if they disclose any of that information, information, what a big word, like affordability.
Speaking of affordability, here is what I’m going to do, but it only works if I stay in POWER, wait, in Office.
I’m going to give every adult $5,000.00 if I stay in POWER, oops, there it went again, in office. Yes, $5,000.00.
Just don’t think about the issues, don’t think about wars, don’t think about healthcare, don’t think about schools, don’t think about SNAP. Don’t think about anything but your own greed, yes, think like me. Just look at the ballot and if the choice says Republican make that disappear and see a glorious MAGA and TRUMP there instead.
Fine Print: Congress needs to approve this. Congress needs to be MAGA Cronies on the take. Money will come from D.O.G.E. non-existent funds. Money will come from Illegal Tariffs that the traitor courts have already demanded be returned (of course you still didn’t get any of the actual cash). I will drag this lie out until you give up so the 1.6 Trillion Dollars will never be added to the deficit anyway, sucker.
